Light at the End of the Tunnel

When you go through a long tunnel, especially when it's twisty and turny, you cannot see the light at the end -- where you'll end up, what it's like, and that there's an end to being in the dark.

I am finishing up my last two finals and am almost done with my preparation for them. This semester has been like getting on a roller coaster and just holding on because I have no idea how it's going to turn and dive and rise and accelerate. Now I'm approaching the junction where I'll get off again. (Although I'll be riding it a few more times in a row, don't ya think?) I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and now I can see where I've been and what has happened along the way. I have really put myself into my studies this year and as a result I have learned so much. I have especially loved Ed Psych and have grown a lot in that class. I can see that my efforts bring success in school and I am motivated to keep going, even though I have a few more dark tunnels ahead of me.

December

Christmas is coming, and never has the season been more beautiful than this year. Granted, there hasn't been as much snow as I would like, but the love that I have felt this season has been phenomenal. I have been so close to Christ, so close to Brian, and so close to my family. I feel truly blessed this season and cannot wait for all that Christmas brings.

Thanksgiving

This is my favorite portrayal of Thanksgiving:



The patriarch of the family is at the head of the table, young and old are seated on both sides and looking happy, hungry, and excited. Although my family has never had the turkey laid out like this and we opt for buffet-style serving of food over laying it all out in front of us, this picture brings back the warmth I feel whenever I think of this beloved holiday.

Lately I have had a lot to be grateful for. In the past three weeks I have attended two funerals and have not been able to attend two others that I would have liked to. My View and my perspective have been changed, and for the better. I don't mean to say I was ungrateful before, but my gratitude has certainly been magnified and broadened. My appreciation of Brian and my parents, especially, has grown, and my love with it. The world is once again exciting and fascinating to me, even though the grass and leaves are brown and tree stems are barren. We have a whole universe around us, and arguably a whole universe inside us. We should always be filled with wonder. I am committed to be a better friend, a better student, and a better woman in life. I can have faith. I can have joy. I can have hope.

Although the cause of my current View was a sad one, I am so grateful that I have had this experience and for the way I have felt as a result. I plan to carry this with me through the Thanksgiving holiday ahead of me and even on through life, although I'm sure I'll need reminding.

Passion

For the past three weeks, I have been working in a local elementary school as a student teacher. This is the first of four student teaching experiences I will have, and I am so grateful that UVU's program is set up to give me so much experience. Although while sitting in the classroom here at school I felt I knew a lot, actually teaching in a classroom has taught me more. It has really opened my eyes.

Although I've been teaching quite a bit, I've also had a lot of opportunities to observe the regular teacher in the classroom. Renee is very good at building up her students and being patient and kind with them, but there are some other things that have been really hard to deal with. First of all, she has class rules but no consequences if they're broken. How well do you think the rules work? The class also doesn't have the same work ethic and discipline that I have seen other 5th/6th grade classes have. Last semester I worked in a 6th grade class and there was a lot of emphasis on preparing for Junior High. I am really worried about the 6th graders going to Junior High because I don't think they'll be able to handle the workload and responsibility. Not only has it made it difficult to teach them, but it has made it difficult to get attached to the kids and see how much they might struggle.

The good thing about working in this classroom, as my mom says, is not only that I now know some things I will and will not do, but I know now how much I really do care about students' education and doing your best to teach them right. It has opened my eyes to see how passionate I am about this. My blood has not been this boiled in a long time. I truly chose the profession I am supposed to have. I never knew it as well as I do now that my eyes have been opened.

Student teaching has really opened my eyes. The teacher I work with does many things right, but there are some things I feel she does wrong. I have been very passionate about the learning of her students, so it has shown me how much I really do care and really do want to be a teacher.

My Favorite Picture

My mother-in-law gave me this picture after I started dating (or was it after I married?) my husband Brian. I went with my friend Jalynn to give my brother-in-law Peter cookies as a way of saying yes to his prom invitation. (This was back in high school. He took Jalynn to prom senior year.) At the time, Brian was on his mission and his picture was hung prominently in the house, so while we waited for Peter to come, Pam snapped this picture of us offering Elder Reschke cookies. Brian always asks me why we didn't send him cookies when he looks at this picture. :) The goof.

I love this picture because it has my two favorite people in it. Brian and Jalynn are my two best friends. They have been with me through thick and thin. They have seen my worst sides and my best sides. They both love me and believe in me. Both of them inspire me and make me want to be a better person. They are my most eternal friends.

I need to take better care of my friendships. Life gets so hairy sometimes and those little calls and emails slip through the cracks. I hope that most of my friends know that I think of them and love them even if I don't see them or talk to them. There are so many people, especially from high school and the early years of college, that I miss so much and still hold dear to my heart, even though our paths no longer cross. It has been good to step back and see this clearly today. Friendship has been out of my View lately, but maybe it should be a little closer.

The Dreaded Exercise

I know this is totally revolutionary, but I've just realized that I don't have to do it all! I have come to this conclusion recently when I started doing small, short workouts in the morning before going to work. At the end of the summer and into the school year, I was really good about getting out and jogging and I finally felt like I was being effective in my workout. The only problem is, once I had a busy day or was too tired to jog 5 miles, I would just skip it altogether, and that got me nowhere. With the little things I've been doing in the morning I have seen a big improvement in the areas that I want, like toning my arms, etc. Plus the exercises are short and easy to remember, I don't have to do them in the same order, and I don't necessarily have to do them all every day, so it's a workout I can stick to. Just working out 10-15 minutes every morning makes me feel so good the rest of the day (as opposed to taking a half hour or more to do even my shortest run). I have found something that I think will work for me. It is very flexible.

My View of exercise has definitely changed. I'm so excited that I don't have to do it all!

Like A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off

This weekend, I was overwhelmed. Teaching in someone else's classroom is a lot harder than I think teaching in my own will be. I am not able to plan how I want things to go because there are so many things Renee doesn't want me to change. After everything I've learned in class, I've felt this huge push to stick to the curriculum and teach it well, so I was really built up for that when I started teaching. Now I think I need to take things slower which made me really nervous that I wouldn't get everything taught before I'm done with field, and for those who are perfectionists like I am, you'll understand what sort of panic I have been in.

This morning, miraculously almost, I am back to a better View of things. If I try to keep strictly to my schedule, I am going to lose the class. The purpose of this experience is not to have the 5th graders become experts on the Iroquois Confederacy, the conflicts between settlers and Native Americans, or to fill out worksheets and have something to display in the hall. The purpose, I believe, is to see how well I am able to teach, which is more connecting with the students and understanding their needs than delivering a lecture.

I have felt a lot of pressure lately, and those close to me know I do not always do well under pressure. Brian and I's financial situation is uncertain, so I'm trying to save every penny I can. I am trying to win a spot as a teacher's assistant in the ELED department, so my grades and performance in class have to be impeccable, if not heroic. And I'm trying to be at peace in my home, so cleaning and exercise have once again found priority, but it's a shaky priority when your time is short and a mess is never far away. So I've been dealing with a lot, but I think I got my peace of mind back. I have a new plan for today's lesson (if I do in fact teach - another qualm about this class...) and I think it better serves the needs of the students as well as the desires of the classroom teacher. I'm glad my perspective kicked in at just the right time.

Bubble, Bubble, Capital Trouble

Election Day!

Happy November 4th. This is the first presidential election where I am old enough to vote. Brian and I will be standing in line tonight, probably for three hours. I guess I'm a nut, but it's also such a responsibility and privilege

There has been a lot of debate about these elections. A lot of controversy, a lot of mudslinging, etc. It's been a hard decision, mostly because I don't like what either party are saying.



In the class where I'm student teaching, there are a lot of kids for McCain and only a few kids for Obama. A few still want to vote for Mitt Romney. :) They were really adamant about their beliefs. When we talked about McCain, they looked like this:



When we talked about Obama, they looked like Christmas was taken away. I'm afraid that after the results come in, they will have to look like Christmas was taken away.

I learned why we vote on Tuesdays. In the old days when people rode around in horse buggies, everyone attended church on Sunday, rode to their voting destination on Monday, voted on Tuesday, rode back on Wednesday, and got home Thursday. They also figured that by November everyone was done with harvest and could come. The question is, why do we still do it? I'm having a hard time getting there because of work, etc, so why don't we push it to the weekend? It's something to think about. There are some movements to move it and there are also movements to make it more than one day, as it is in some other countries.

I feel like tonight I'm choosing the lesser of two evils. I've got to work on being more optimistic and having hope that everything will go well.

Aaahh...

There is a popular talk show called "The View". Well, this is my view. Perhaps a journal of sorts, but more of a place to document life. I have many roles -- I am a teacher, student, wife, housekeeper, friend, daughter, sister, secretary, cook, writer... Probably many more. And as I go about my day with all these roles, I sometimes feel up and sometimes feel down, but always I try to change my View. So this will be about my View -- hopefully so that I can change it when it's least productive.

Hopefully you will enjoy the journey with me. Feel free to see my Profile for other blogs I dictate, although they are mostly for school use. Ciao!